The Morning After
by mascara freak
Summary: Basically there's a big party at Rivendell, to celebrate Frodo's recovery. As you can imagine, alcohol. This story is about hangovers, staffs and a lot of other weird crazy things my mind spews out including nose hair, hav fun and plz reveiw!
1. The morning after

Disclaimer: I no, I no, I don't own LOTR or any of the characters, though I don't think that's a bad thing, could anyone stand being around with someone who seems to have absolutely no personal hygiene, i'm talking bout Aragorn, does that man ever wash, I don't have anything else against him. Anyway I don't own anything Tolkein related.  
  
This is my first fanfic so sorry if it's a bit slow to get started, it's basically coming of the top of my head.  
  
Chapter one: The morning after  
  
The council of Elrond, before the council. The night everyone celebrates Frodo's recovery, well the morning after, and fuzzy memorys.  
  
Gandalf woke up, his body was in a half empty fountain and his arm was slung around Sam, who was sitting in what appeared to be the rest of the water that should have been in the fountain. At least Gandalf hoped it was water from the fountain.  
  
He couldn't remember why he was in a fountain or even how he had got there, and he wasn't quite sure why he was using a hairy bolder as a foot rest. It took the wizard by surprise when the bolder moved.  
  
He jumped to his feet, his hand searching for his staff.. "Stay back evil creature, dark magic shall not avail you!" He couldn't find his staff.  
  
"ourch, you call me an evil creature, try waking up with those feet next to your nose, that is good old fashioned torture" The bolder spoke.  
  
Gandalf still couldn't find his staff. "I'll have you know that while being kept captive by Saruman the White and forced to cook for his orks every day then foot hygiene becomes the least of your worries". The staff still didn't appear.  
  
"if your looking for that staff of yours you won't have much luck, I vaguely remember two wee hobbits running off with it while you were telling Aragorn how much you hated him and then telling Lord Elrond how you were gonna sleep with his daughter, you were really pissed last night. The names Gimli by the way"  
  
The hangover hit the wizard. He staggered a bit, he managed to regain control of body. "I, I told Elrond I was gonna sleep with Arwen, he doesn't even like the thought of Aragorn sleeping with her, and he's not old enough to be her great, great,great, well garandfather. Wait, two hobbits ran off with my staff, what did they look like.  
  
Gimli yawned and stretched. "you know, small, a bit chubby, a bit like a dwarf with no hair, but better looking, one of them had a weird accent."  
  
"Merry and that fool of a took, I might have known." He began to climb out of the fountain ignoring the dwarf who seemed to be hangover free. He would have managed it without a hangover but that wasn't the case. He tripped over his soggy robes and landed next to the sleeping hobbit who chose that exact moment to roll over and land on the wizard, but instead of waking up he just began to snore.  
  
Gimli just laughed and climbed out of the fountain, instead of helping he just wandered off.  
  
"Stupid dwatf. I knew this hobbit needed to go on a diet" Gandalf muttered.  
  
I know it's short but I'll write more soon, I'll try to make it funnier. Reviews would be greatly appreciated, and if anyone wants to suggest ideas, I plan to put something about Frodo and Legolas diying their nose hair but im low on ideas. 


	2. Facing the consequences

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the book or anything Tolkien related, I just borrow them.  
  
Note: this is my first fanfic so sorry if it's not that good or funny. *If writing like this is in between these star things it means it is someone's thoughts and the other characters can't hear them unless their psychic, which none of them are in this story*.  
  
Chapter 2: Facing the consequences  
  
After much heaving Gandalf was finally able to remove the sleeping hobbit and dump him on the hard ground, he wasn't really surprised when Sam just carried on snoring. The wizard now turned his mind to more pressing matters, *want staff, need staff, stupid hobbits*, he slowly made his way inside. The wizard was hangover so this easy action wasn't really that easy when you're wobbling all over the place.  
  
Gandalf had been wandering around for a while and had come across no one but dwarves who all seemed to be immune to hangovers and kept waving cheerfully at him. He decided that everyone else was still recovering from the party. Even the elves couldn't look pretty after a night of alcohol and loud music with head banging, Gandalf even suspected that Legolas would be suffering from a hangover. *stupid nancy elf*.  
  
He had been wandering around for a while longer when he came across a brooding Aragorn, who looked un clean, un shaven and smelled slightly odd, Gandalf didn't no if this was a result of the night before or if Arwen just hadn't been able to force him to have a bath. He walked slowly up to the ranger and cleared his throat nervously. "hi aragorn, good party ahh?" He asked, hoping the ranger had been to wasted the night before to remember that Gandalf had told him he hated him.  
  
The rangers eyes narrowed, it made Gandalf slightly anxious but if he had been able to hear Aragorns thoughts he wouldn't have worried so much. * Ok, take a deep breath, look pissed off, don't let him know he hurt your feelings, you are Aragorn, a strong, brave ranger, you do not care about this obviously gay wizards opinion of you* instead he said.  
  
"Yes I believe it was, Elrond always knows how to throw a good party," he said icily.  
  
" Yeah, so no hard feelings if I happened to just say anything offensive to you while I was so obviously drunk" Gandalf asked hastily.  
  
The ranger's eyes twitched slightly. "None what so ever" he replied  
  
"Yeah, we're buddies, you no, me, you, buddies" Gandalf arcwardly patted Aragorn on the shoulder.  
  
Aragorn didn't reply, he kept his thoughts to himself. *Oh my god, he is soooo gay*  
  
"So you haven't happened to come across Merry and Pippin this morning, at all?" Gandalf asked. "Well, I heard their voices coming from the library on the second floor, but that was an hour ago" Aragorn wanted to get rid of the wizard. "so you should leave now and hope there still there, if not check the kitchen" as he spoke Aragorn began to steer Gandalf towards the stairs. "Good luck" he said and ran off. *Stupid, unthankful, gay wizard, doesn't appreciate me*.  
  
Gandalf was left at the bottom of the stairs trying to figure out the ranger's odd behaviour, a thought struck him. *He's gay, and he was coming onto me, no don't be stupid, he's going out with Arwen, it's that Sam Gamgee you need to watch out for*.  
  
The wizard began to climb the stairs slowly, at the top he turned to the right and headed for the second set of stairs, he past a bathroom and heard voices, he paused briefly but recognised them to belong to Frodo and Legolas, he didn't listen he had to carry on, he had one thought whizzing around his head *staff, staff, staff*, another thought joined this *Frodo and Legolas in a bathroom together, hmmmmm?*, he shook his head to get rid of the thought, he had to concentrate, he needed his staff.  
  
He climbed the other set of stairs, he was about to reach the top when his feet got tangled up in his robes causing him to trip over and roll down the stairs.  
  
"Aowww" he said in a daze.  
  
He didn't get up, he just lay there motionless, until someone leaned over him.  
  
"Hey your that wizard dude, I'm like such a huge fan of your fireworks man" it was one of the men that had come from Gondor, Gandalf believed it to be a man by the name of Boromir.  
  
"Well it's nice to be appreciated" Gandalf smiled faintly, "ahh, would you mind giving me a hand up?"  
  
"Sure man" Boromir took Gandalf's hand and pulled quite forcefully. Gandalf staggered to his feet.  
  
"Dude could I like get your autograph" Boromir paused and tuned slightly pink, "for my brother of course".  
  
Gandalf chuckled wisely leading people to believe that he knew more than he was letting on, he didn't really, he just knew his fans loved it. He pulled out a quill and piece of parchment from someone inside his robes and wrote "To my greatest fan" he then scribbled his name Gandalf the Grey and several other names he had required over many years including "Largearss" and "Dirty old man". He then handed it to Boromir. Boromir read it and wiped away a tear.  
  
"You don't know how much this means to me man!" he then pulled Gandalf into a bear hug.  
  
Gandalf didn't really no what to do, so he just patted Boromir on the shoulder. Boromir released him leaving Gandalf slightly breathless.  
  
" I'm gonna go and show this to that stuck up ranger, man, see what he makes of this, he may have the beautiful elf chic but I have Gandalf the Grey's name on a piece of parchment, haha, who's the lucky one now" With that Boromir ran off down the hall.  
  
Gandalf turned back to the stairs, that little run in with Boromir had distracted Gandalf from his quest for his staff. This time the stairs would not defeat him.  
  
That's the end of chapter 2, please pretty please review. Merry and Pippin will appear in the next chapter, and Legolas and Frodo's nose hair diying will be written in as soon as it can. Big THANK YOU, to reviewers, I don't know whether to do the thing where I mention you individually, if you want me to then I'll happily do it. 


	3. All is forgiven, NOT!

Disclaimer: I no, I don't own them, the characters, or the actors, or the story, or anything Tolkien, I don't even own this computer.  
  
Authors note: Right firstly I may be changing my name to Eyeliner Freak, cause Mascara Freak was just off the top of my head, I don't know, what one sounds better? This is chapter 3 where two cutie hobbits will be making their appearance for the first time in this story. I am trying to get the story rolling but it's my first one and I only have a few ideas, I'm not really even sure where I'm taking it.  
  
Chapter 3: All is forgiven, NOT!!!  
  
Gandalf began to climb the stairs slowly, holding his robes up to his knees; he wasn't going to trip again. He reached the top and turned around, he pointed and began to laugh at the stairs, anyone who would have seen him would without a doubt call him mad, and I'm not altogether sure that they would be wrong. He turned away from the stairs to face his next challenge, and there it was walking towards him, Elrond. Elrond stopped and they stood there facing each other, several metres apart, if this were a western (which its not) then music would be heard in the background. Elrond was the first to speak.  
  
"So Gandalf, I don't believe this hallways big enough for the both of us" he said quietly and menacingly.  
  
"Actually I think I could squeeze right past you" Gandalf replied slightly confused.  
  
"Oh really, you mean you think those thighs of yours wouldn't have any trouble.." Elrond said quietly.  
  
"What do you mean, what's wrong with my thighs?" Gandalf asked sharply.  
  
"Oh nothing, nothing, your bums getting quite big" Elrond said. *Ha, I'll get him back, I no Gandalf's weaknesses*  
  
"My bum is in perfect proportion" Gandalf fumed.  
  
"Yeah if it was attached to a cave troll" Elrond sniggered, " and everyone's saying you stole that nose off a dwarf.  
  
Gandalf was speechless, even Saruman didn't insult him this much.  
  
"Elrond stop it at once, I was drunk, I don't want to sleep with Arwen" Gandalf hoped this would make peace but it seemed to make Elrond angry.  
  
"What are you saying my daughters not good enough for you, are you somehow implying that she looks like me, and you think I'm ugly?!!!" Elrond shouted angrily.  
  
Gandalf hoped that no one would come to watch Elrond making a scene. "Look here Elrond, I didn't mean it like that, be reasonable" he looked around nervously.  
  
"To late, I'm insulted, good day to you!" he shouted and stormed off, pushing past Gandalf.  
  
Gandalf was left speechless. *He really does act like a spoilt mortal sometimes*.  
  
Gandalf began to walk down the hall to the library, hoping he wouldn't meet anyone along the way. He was in luck; he reached the library without anymore incidents. The door was shut but he could hear two voices that belonged to Merry and Pippin coming from inside.  
  
CHANGE SCENE  
  
Merry and Pippin had been up all night. Soon after they had stolen it from a very drunk Gandalf they had found the deserted library and had been using the staff all night.  
  
"I can't believe it's this easy, Gandalf always makes this magic stuff look hard" Merry said waving the staff, he said one word. "Cabbages" and pop! several cabbages appeared.  
  
"Euwww, why'd you summon cabbages Merry? We don't like cabbages" Pippin complained.  
  
"Well you no that fortune teller we summoned" Merry paused and Pippin nodded, "she said that we would be needing to be healthy and all that for our questy, adventure thingy she said that we would be going on, so I thought cabbages" Merry explained.  
  
"Yeah but aren't mushrooms and potatoes healthy?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, and apples" Merry beamed.  
  
Pippin's eyes clouded over "No cabbages and definitely no apples".  
  
"Your right" Merry waved the staff, "Cabbages be gone"  
  
"Ooh it's my turn now" Pippin squealed.  
  
"All right, all right, but remember Pip, no strippers, we don't wanna be caught" Merry warned him, un aware that a wizard was on the other side of the door, listening in.  
  
"Fine, fine" Pippin paused stuck for ideas, suddenly a thought struck him, it was a good idea, no one would have thought that Pippin was able to come up with them. "Let's turn ourselves invisible and see what everyone gets up to" Pippin squealed excitedly.  
  
Merry's eyes widened in excitement "Yeah, I really think Gandalf is gay, and I'm not quite sure about Sam either, this could be are only chance to find out, we've got to do it"  
  
CHANGE SCENE  
  
Gandalf had been listening into the whole of their conversation and wasn't entirely happy with the gay comment that Merry had made. He would have to punish these two, and he thought he knew how. His idea would only work if Merry's brain were fully functional today; he had given up on Pippin's brain a long time ago. He kept quiet and kept listening.  
  
CHANGE SCENE  
  
"Ok, we'll have to change each other, it will be easier that way, I'll do you first, hand me the staff." Merry said.  
  
Pippin handed him the staff, and Merry began to wave it.  
  
"Grant him invisibility" he spoke clearly, and a second later Pippin disappeared. "Pippin, are you still" he reached out to where Pippin had been standing and waved his hand about, it knocked something solid.  
  
"Ooww, merrwie, that were mi nowse" Pippin spoke, "am I invisible then?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah do me now" Merry said excitedly holding out the staff, he felt something take hold of it and he let go.  
  
The staff was waved about by an invisible Pippin, and Merry (and Gandalf) heard him speak, "Grant him invisibility", a second later Merry was able to see Pippin again.  
  
"Huh, did it work?" he asked Pippin.  
  
"I don't know, I can see you now, but are we both still invisible?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Let's use that mirror over there" Merry suggested.  
  
They both walked over, neither of them had a reflection; the only thing that did was the staff that Pippin was still holding.  
  
"We'll have to hide the staff in here, it's to risky to carry it about with us" Merry decided, Pippin just nodded his head in agreement, "we can hide it in that cupboard" Merry concluded, not knowing that Gandalf could hear every word they were saying.  
  
They hid the staff and left the room.  
  
Outside Gandalf had already heard them coming and had moved so that it looked like he was walking away down the hall from the library.  
  
"Hey Merry, look there's Gandalf", he heard Pippin exclaim.  
  
"Pippin shut up, we can still be heard" Merry said at about the same volume.  
  
Gandalf was relieved to hear them run off down the hall the other way. He turned around and walked back down the hall to the library. Hobbits weren't the brightest of creatures.  
  
End of chapter 3  
  
Ok it's longer, still not very funny, SORRY!!!, bad me. I will try my best, it should get funnier as Merry and Pippin spy on everyone. I will try my best, please review, it helps my confidence. 


	4. Nose hair dyeing

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. It all belongs to the one and only Tolkien.  
  
Author's notes: I am a really slow updater so sorry to anyone who for some reason is reading this fanfic. This chapter will include my nose hair dying idea, don't know how that will turn out but I'll give it a go, wish me luck!!!!! Big thank you to anyone who has ever reviewed this story.  
  
Chapter 4: Nose hair dyeing.  
  
Merry and Pippin had been wandering around for a while. They hadn't found much, just a of group of dwarves betting on how many elves they could give wedgies to and a lot of passed out men and elves. But they soon cheered up as they heard Frodo and Legolas's voices coming from the bathroom.  
  
"The colour of your nose hair is the most important feature on your face, you can't ignore it."  
  
"But I really think I should get a second opinion before I take such a big step, the colour might clash with my eye colour" Frodo argued.  
  
"I have blue eyes as well and my nose hair colour looks perfect with it, believe me Frodo, it will do wonders for your nose shape and it will match the colour of hair on your feet." Legolas assured him.  
  
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks, they didn't know Frodo was so obsessed with his looks.  
  
"Well you are an elf, I suppose you know best, just don't let the dye stain my skin, I have a flawless complexion, I'd rather not have it ruined."  
  
"I agree, what facial wash do you use? You haven't got a single spot, even I have to fight to keep my baby smooth skin." Legolas asked as he got to work preparing the dye.  
  
Merry and Pippin were able to open the door slightly so that they could peer through the crack. They saw Legolas and Frodo wearing white bathrobes; both of them had their hair wrapped in a towel. Legolas was wearing a facemask and Frodo was sitting on the toilet seat.  
  
"I use a specially imported one from Lorien, I heard its Lady Galadriel's own home made one" Frodo answered.  
  
Pippin and Merry slid into the bathroom. Legolas was washing his hands, preparing to start the process. Merry and Pippin started to work on an idea, the hobbit and elf had their backs to the invisible hobbits as Merry and Pippin added the bathroom bleach to the nose hair dye. They put the bottle of bleach down just in time as Legolas turned around to apply the dye.  
  
As Legolas got to work Merry and Pippin slid out of the bathroom, they would see the finished result at dinner. "How long must I leave the dye on for?" Frodo asked.  
  
"15 minutes then you must wash it out." Legolas answered as Merry and Pippin ran off down the hall.  
  
Merry and Pippin stopped running when they got round the corner.  
  
"Frodo would kill us if he finds out." Pippin managed between giggles.  
  
"But he wont. I never knew how vain he was, now he's gonna get blonde nose hair." Merry said while laughing. "Who shall we annoy now?"  
  
Pippin's eyes clouded over. "There's a certain ranger who deserves a couple of apples."  
  
"Ahhh sweet revenge, why not, we need to collect some apples from the kitchen," Merry said and turned towards the direction of the kitchen, "and I haven't had breakfast yet."  
  
The hobbits ran off to the kitchen for food and supplies.  
  
A while later they were outside and up a tree. Pippin was on look out and Merry was rubbing a bump that was on his forehead.  
  
"Does it still hurt?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Yes Pip, when you get hit on the head with a saucepan it takes a while to heal."  
  
"You don't think the cook could see us do you Merry?  
  
"Nah, she just got a lucky hit, she was swinging that thing around and shouting about ghosts, lucky she knocked herself out really, no one will believe her." He assured Pippin.  
  
"Look, here he comes." Pippin got an apple ready to aim, he was about to throw it as Aragorn came into sight but Merry grabbed his arm. Pippin looked at him slightly confused.  
  
"Wait, let's see what he does on his own." Merry whispered. They both sat silently watching Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn sat down on the grass leaning against the tree that Merry and Pippin sat in. He pulled out a diary and a pen.  
  
"Dear Diary.." He spoke as he wrote. "Today I encountered Gandalf, he cared not for my feelings and the harsh words he spoke to me last night, yes he did apologise but only because I am a life long member to the Pipe weed association and get 2 free barrels of it whenever I please, stupid, gay wizard got chucked out of the club when he took advantage of the free pipes and took 450 of them, I mean who the hell in all of Middle Earth needs 450 pipes, whenever I asked him I just got the "do not question the actions of a wizard" crap, he's nothing without his staff. Anyway, the party last night was ok, Elrond always embarrasses me in front of crowds, I mean I've grown out of borrowing Arwen's dresses now but he always has to remind me. Arwen and me are going ok, she's stopped stealing my horse and she takes Glorfindel's now. Recently I've been having these really weird dreams, not the ones with the dancing dragons and stripping dwarves, this one is about this really big hole that Gandalf falls into after he tries to do the tango with a fiery demon. If only it actually happened, he doesn't appreciate my friendship, I mean I listened to him and gave him advice when he broke up with Saruman, it's not my fault that when I got him to go and try to make up with him, Saruman kept him captive, he's been ignoring me since he escaped.  
There's a big meeting that's going to happen soon, probably something to do with the hobbits and the ring. Legolas is here because of it, haven't been able to speak to him much, I need to see if he can score me some free Mirkwood wine, he owes me after I took the blame after we got drunk while I was staying at Mirkwood, I passed out but he covered the whole palace with toilet paper, his father was furious, but I'm such a good friend, I took the blame, got kicked out of Mirkwood and was given a 2 year ban for that."  
  
All three of them jumped as they heard a scream coming from inside, it sounded like a very Frodo like scream. Merry and Pippin grinned at each other. Aragorn closed his diary and got up to run inside to see what was wrong. As he ran Merry and Pippin began to pelt the apples at him, he began to flail his arms to try and block the apples. Merry tossed Pippin the last apple; Pippin aimed the apple and hit Aragorn right on the head.  
  
"Bulls eye!" Pippin shouted gleefully when Aragorn was out of hearing distance; he gave Merry a high 5.  
  
"Good shot." Merry said approvingly.  
  
"Why, thank you, what shall we do now?"  
  
"I'm feeling kind of tired, maybe we should sleep and then get some lunch." Merry suggested.  
  
"Great idea." Pippin agreed as they climbed down the tree. Pippin lay down and stretched out in the sun.  
  
"Wait Pip," Pippin looked confused, "we'll have to sleep in the shade or we'll cast a shadow in the sun." Merry pointed at Pippin's shadow.  
  
"Very clever Merry, we don't want to get caught." Pippin rolled over into the shade the tree was supplying. Merry lay down next to him and they were soon both asleep and dreaming of female elves and food.  
  
End Still not that funny dammit, but I suppose I'm getting there slowly. Don't know who Merry and Pippin are going to spy on next so if you have a request I'll try to do it, but that would mean you would have to review and tell me (hint, hint). I also need ideas for pranks and stuff Merry and Pippin is going to do. Please, please, please review!!! 


	5. Suspicions Aroused

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR I know so don't rub it in.  
  
Hmmmm chapter 5, it took me a while to get here. I'm very sorry I haven't updated but I don't think I have any dedicated reviewers who live for my next badly written chapter so no angry mobs to worry about.  
  
I would like to say a very, very, very, very big thank you to anyone who has reviewed; you lot make my day and give me a reason to carry on! I would do a separate thank-you for each person but it's been so long that I would miss someone out and feel really bad about it. I will do them next time if anyone reviews.  
  
Chapter 5: Suspicions are aroused (this chapter is being written with no idea in which way the story is going, I apologise in advance for its badness)  
  
Aragorn ran as fast as he could away from the mysterious apples that were attacking him. He flailed his arms to protect himself from their hits. He rounded a corner and collapsed from exhaustion. The apples didn't follow. He lay there for only a few seconds when again another Frodo like scream pierced the air. Aragorn got up and began to run again hoping that neither Sam nor Gandalf had cornered Frodo and had announced their undying love for him.  
  
Aragorn ran inside, giving little thought to the mysterious apples. He ran up the stairs and paused to listen.  
  
"You stupid, nancy, gay, dumb, inbred elf, look at what you've done to me, I am having a nervous breakdown, and I am losing the will to live!!!!!" He heard Frodo shout, maybe his suspicions had been wrong; maybe Frodo attracted elves as well as hobbits and wizards.  
  
" I am so sorry Frodo, I don't know what happened, let me fix it, I can make it better, let me make it go away". He heard Legolas replying to Frodo's shouts.  
  
Aragorn was getting very confused now; he walked over and swung open the bathroom door. Again Frodo screamed but at Aragorn's presence. Frodo jumped back and grabbed a towel to hide his face.  
  
"Don't look at me, I am hideous." He whimpered through the towel.  
  
"Come on it's not that bad Frodo," Legolas said reassuringly, "it's really not that bad when you get use to it, let Aragorn see." He said giving Aragorn a warning look.  
  
Frodo whimpered again but slowly lowered the towel to reveal blonde nose hair to Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn's eyes widened at the sight but he managed to hold in his shriek, instead he lied. "Yes I really agree Legolas, once your eyes get use to it, it really suits him."  
  
Frodo looked a lot happier after this but Aragorn and Legolas's attempts were ruined when Sam rushed in. "Mister Frodo, Mister Frodo, what's wrong, what happened, oh my god Mister Frodo what did they do to your nose hair!" Sam cried.  
  
At this Frodo flung himself behind the toilet and began to whimper loudly, refusing to come out.  
  
"I really don't know what happened, there's no way the dye should have done that, my father always uses it." Legolas said confused.  
  
"Your father dyes his nose hair!" Aragorn cried trying to keep in his laughter.  
  
Legolas turned a slight shade of pink. "I'll have you know it's a very common thing to do amongst elves, Elrohir and Elladan have been dyeing your nose hair while you sleep since you were three."  
  
Aragorn let out a gasp and his hand moved swiftly to his nose. "You mean my young, manly nose hair isn't natural! It can't be, my life is ruined!" He cried.  
  
Sam who had been standing around awkwardly feeling confused about the importance of nose hair spoke up as Aragorn descended into quiet sobbing.  
  
"Pardon me saying, but would it be entirely unbelievable to think that maybe this is the cause of someone playing a mean joke on Mister Frodo?" He asked somewhat nervously.  
  
Legolas spoke up as Aragorn began to mumble about Arwen finding him unattractive now. "No Sam that could be the exact reason to what has happened and for someone to try and ruin Frodo's beauty is an act unbearable to think about and I think Frodo should be allowed to get pay back."  
  
At this Frodo stood up and turned to face them with an evil grin enhanced by his blonde nose hair. "Revenge is sweet".  
  
At this precise moment Gandalf walked in. At seeing the state everyone was in with their nose hair he soon began to realise that Pippin and Merry had begun their pranks.  
  
Being the wise wizard that he was he doubled up with laughter and was soon rolling around on the floor at the state Frodo's nose hair was in. He soon sobered up when a well-aimed kick was delivered from Frodo.  
  
After some explaining the group of them in the bathroom Aragorn, Legolas, Sam, Frodo and Gandalf had all been filled in about the situation with Merry and Pippin and a conclusion was reached that after Merry and Pippin had played a few more pranks then pay back would be delivered with Frodo as the main delivery man.  
  
"But why don't we just try and catch them now?" Asked a fuming Frodo with Sam nodding in agreeance.  
  
"Ahhh there is still little you know about the lives of Elves, Men and Wizards." Gandalf chuckled wisely.  
  
"What is it we should know now?" Asked Sam.  
  
"We like to see other people in misery!" Legolas shouted and soon Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas were cackling madly with Sam and Frodo crouching, frightened in a corner.  
  
"We also need to know their methods and there weaknesses, we shall split into three groups. Sam and Frodo, you shall be group Prancing Pony. Legolas and myself shall be group Hot guys and Gandalf you shall be alone and your codename will be Pervy old Wizard. We shall all split off into our groups and track down the targets Merry and Pippin; we shall make notes of their movements and the pranks they play. We shall meet back here in four hours to try and discover a pattern in the way they strike and for a bite to eat, are there any questions?" He demanded.  
  
Everyone kept quiet and agreed to the ranger's plans.  
  
"Group Prancing Pony you will search the inside of Rivendell. Group Hot guys will search the outside grounds and revisit the area of the apple throwing and Pervy old Wizard will ask around to try and discover any other odd behaviour and if you come across that ars Boromir tell him he can go to hell cause I will take over the throne of Gondor and make him clean the toilets." With Aragorns last words each group split off to carry out their appointed task.  
  
Meanwhile outside Merry and Pippin awoke from their nap to discover their next potential target only a few feet away. A Gondorian man trying to chat up a female elf.  
  
"Doromir, no I mean Foromir, oh um Boromir, yes Boromir please do I have to keep telling you, I'm not interested, I have a steady relationship going with Aragorn." The female elf said irritated.  
  
"Come on Arwen baby, like take a ride on the Boromir shield, I can show you a better time than that punk Aragorn." Boromir insisted.  
  
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks and slowly began to advance on the unsuspecting man. They grabbed his pants from behind and pulled.  
  
"WEDGIE!!!!" and with that they ran off.  
  
End.  
  
Ok I'm so sorry, its short its rushed and its not funny, I will really try to make the next chapter better as we see how Group Prancing Pony, Group Hot guys and Pervy old Wizard get on. I'm sorry Boromir fans, the wedgie was coming. Before anyone asks I do think that nose hair is going to play a big part in this story, what can I say, I'm weird. Please Review!!!!!! 


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